Category Archives: Life As I Know It

Introducing Fitzwilliam Marten… That’s Sir Marten to you.

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You know those days when you have too much to do and too many projects that need to be completed but there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day or an end in sight? In these moments I close my eyes and think about how magnificent life would be if  I had a taxidermic friend, Fitzwilliam Marten, who wears the finest Victorian attire. Why wouldn’t he wear a top hat and carry a walking stick; he’s not a commoner! Unfortunately, Fitzwilliam is going to go home with some other lucky lady as I don’t have one hundred bucks laying around waiting to be spent on AWESOMENESS. It’s just as well, I don’t remember any of Jane Austen’s heroines riding into the sunset with a ferret.

Image Courtesy of goldenwildlife

George Orwell called. He said he told you so.

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It was a debate of workplace magnitude. To friend or not to friend (on Facebook)? I argued passionately on the side of “not to friend” but to connect via LinkedIn. My coworkers took the stance of friending, far and wide, on Facebook. We were at a stalemate and I wondered if I am simply too cautious or if they are playing with fire.

Let me back up. Over the years, I have worked with several organizations and maintained great friendships with colleagues. However, as a person with a healthy distrust of the Internet, I try to maintain a separation of personal and professional relationships. I don’t want future bosses making snap judgements about my work ethic based on political leanings, musical taste, and photos with friends and family. Until I see some hard and fast rules about ethical hiring and firing practices based on internet searches, I will ardently maintain my personal anonymity. I suppose my inherent distrust of the Web can be attributed to growing up in a pre-Internet generation, along with a hefty dose of Orwellian fear.

My colleagues, on the other hand, are recent college graduates and maintain a sizable Facebook base upwards of 1,000 or more “friends.” They friend classmates, friends, coworkers, and bosses alike and believe it’s impossible to separate the personal from the professional. So, when I told them I prefer to connect on LinkedIn, or friend them after my contract comes to an end, they were offended. They believe anyone with a wide Internet presence; i.e. website, blog, Facebook business page, and other social media tools, is a fool to think they can create boundaries. Maybe they’re right, maybe it is ridiculous to believe my one hold out, a single Facebook page, shares any more or less about my personality and personal beliefs than my blog, twitter feed, or website.

The question to you is where do you draw the line? Is it naive to believe a person can maintain separate personal and professional identities on the Internet?

Image Credit: Unknown

Let’s make it rain money!

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Despite the fact that I’ve been a terrible blogger these past few months, I am diligently developing my consulting business – mostly because I like keeping the lights on and food in the fridge. I promise I’ll have real posts coming soon but in the meantime take a look at my updated website and “like” my new Facebook page – it’s almost as though I have a real business or something. I must be an adult!

My Friends Are Embarrassed For Me

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It’s come to this… my friends are ganging up to host an intervention. They are embarrassed… for my cell phone. Apparently owning a flip phone in the age of iPhones is unheard of unless you are over the age of 80.

Verizon LG Flip phone

Today a friend casually asked when I planned on phone shopping. I responded with a haphazard comment along the lines of “I don’t want to pay $50 a month for a data plan and autocorrect that makes me want to stab Siri in the face.” Her response? “Your phone was quirky five years ago. Now I’m embarrassed for you. Suck it up and pay $50 a month like the rest of us. Siri’s going to take over the world and you’ll want her on your side when the uprising occurs.”

I’m still a passive resistor. As I managed to stay connected for more than two years with my tiny digital friend that allowed me to remain connected via facebook and T9 I’m not sure if I’m ready to transition. What do you think? Is a flip phone an embarrassment in this day and age of smartphones? Should I drink the kool-aid, suck it up, and get a smartphone?

Babies Are Like Zombies

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There is not much that strikes terror in my heart. A lion and antelope fighting to the death? Yawn.

Lion v. Antelope

Jumping out of an airplane with a parachute and a prayer? Sign me up.

Image Courtesy of Travellers_Checklist

Yet, a week-old baby can send chills through my bones.  I wasn’t sure from where my irrational fear stemmed until I googled it. Apparently other (totally sane) people share the same (completely rational) fear of small children as me. And they are really convinced that babies are rising up to start the zombie apocalypse. Or that drug addicts are snorting babies. Regardless, I plan on barring the doors and filling all the bathtubs with water.

Image Courtesy of My Google Search

Now I’m afraid to go to sleep in fear that a coked out undead baby will crawl out from under my bed with a shank. Please save me from myself. And babies. Mostly the babies. They are coming for me.

Thor

Yes, this baby is wearing a TARDIS cocoon with “Police Box” stenciled on his head. Mostly because if he’s going to shank me slash eat my brains he’s going to do it while making a bold fashion statement. You have to have priorities.

P.S. While you may not notice the immediate parallels between Thor and a zombie please examine the diagram below to see the startling similarities. I’m lucky I got out of there with all of my appendages.

Image Courtesy of "How To Be A Dad"

Where Were You When… The Ball Dropped in 1999?

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Join me for the Where Were You When? Series and share your story about how major world events impacted your life.  

Image Credit: Where Were You? Events That Changed The World 26-episode series graphic
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Because I’m a slacker who doesn’t keep up with her own blog series I am always pleased when other people write my posts for me. It also helps when these events coincide with the exact same thing that I was doing at the time.

In 1999 I was 19 years old and in my second year at a small Texas college.  I remember the hoopla surrounding the millennial new year celebration and the fear that it inspired in the armageddonists.  Will the Y2K bug revert the world’s computers to 1900 and effectively stop commerce, business, and life itself?  Some people stockpiled supplies in fear of the end times as the world prepared to usher in the new millennium. I, on the other hand, was ready to party it up just in case there was no tomorrow.

To read more about avoiding death, zombies, and water turning to blood with the new millennium head on over to So Long And Thanks For All The Fish.  If you’d like to be a part of this series please drop me a comment so I can share your blog here as well.

Father Christmas and his brother Bo Pilgrim are trying to steal my limelight

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I haven’t been great about posting my latest projects. Let’s just blame Father Christmas and his jerk of a brother, Bo Pilgrim.  I’ve been terrible about working on my Shitenge Project, mostly because I don’t know how to thread the needle of the sewing machine without someone around to keep me from stabbing myself.  However, I did take up a new hobby, crocheting.  I know what you’re thinking, isn’t that the hobby of the infirm or celebrity elite? Fact. But as I am 30-something going on 90 I figured it was a great skill to have before I throw on the adult diapers.

So far I’ve created a couple of cowls, a couple pairs of fingerless gloves, a scarf, and a baby TARDIS cocoon/hat for a friend’s (overdue) baby.  Despite what some might think, my burst of craftiness does not stem from being “unemployed” as freelance is quite different from NOT having a job.  (People receiving unemployment checks can explain the difference if it’s hard to grasp.)  Much like the elderly, I find that crocheting is soothing and may, perhaps, count as aerobic exercise. Just check out the triceps on your grandma next time she whips out a crochet hook if you don’t believe me.

Avia wearing my awesome fingerless gloves

I would share a picture of Thor in his TARDIS baby cocoon/hat if (ahem, cough, cough) he’d ever work up the effort to expel himself from the birth canal. At this point I’m pretty sure he’s going to pop out as a toddler with a head of hair, a full set of teeth, and a running commentary on life in utero.  Instead, here’s a picture of his mom hoping that he’ll make an appearance this year.

Yes. She is 10 months pregnant and she doesn't like to be reminded of that fact.