Category Archives: The Apocalypse Is Here

George Orwell called. He said he told you so.

Standard

It was a debate of workplace magnitude. To friend or not to friend (on Facebook)? I argued passionately on the side of “not to friend” but to connect via LinkedIn. My coworkers took the stance of friending, far and wide, on Facebook. We were at a stalemate and I wondered if I am simply too cautious or if they are playing with fire.

Let me back up. Over the years, I have worked with several organizations and maintained great friendships with colleagues. However, as a person with a healthy distrust of the Internet, I try to maintain a separation of personal and professional relationships. I don’t want future bosses making snap judgements about my work ethic based on political leanings, musical taste, and photos with friends and family. Until I see some hard and fast rules about ethical hiring and firing practices based on internet searches, I will ardently maintain my personal anonymity. I suppose my inherent distrust of the Web can be attributed to growing up in a pre-Internet generation, along with a hefty dose of Orwellian fear.

My colleagues, on the other hand, are recent college graduates and maintain a sizable Facebook base upwards of 1,000 or more “friends.” They friend classmates, friends, coworkers, and bosses alike and believe it’s impossible to separate the personal from the professional. So, when I told them I prefer to connect on LinkedIn, or friend them after my contract comes to an end, they were offended. They believe anyone with a wide Internet presence; i.e. website, blog, Facebook business page, and other social media tools, is a fool to think they can create boundaries. Maybe they’re right, maybe it is ridiculous to believe my one hold out, a single Facebook page, shares any more or less about my personality and personal beliefs than my blog, twitter feed, or website.

The question to you is where do you draw the line? Is it naive to believe a person can maintain separate personal and professional identities on the Internet?

Image Credit: Unknown

Babies Are Like Zombies

Standard

There is not much that strikes terror in my heart. A lion and antelope fighting to the death? Yawn.

Lion v. Antelope

Jumping out of an airplane with a parachute and a prayer? Sign me up.

Image Courtesy of Travellers_Checklist

Yet, a week-old baby can send chills through my bones.  I wasn’t sure from where my irrational fear stemmed until I googled it. Apparently other (totally sane) people share the same (completely rational) fear of small children as me. And they are really convinced that babies are rising up to start the zombie apocalypse. Or that drug addicts are snorting babies. Regardless, I plan on barring the doors and filling all the bathtubs with water.

Image Courtesy of My Google Search

Now I’m afraid to go to sleep in fear that a coked out undead baby will crawl out from under my bed with a shank. Please save me from myself. And babies. Mostly the babies. They are coming for me.

Thor

Yes, this baby is wearing a TARDIS cocoon with “Police Box” stenciled on his head. Mostly because if he’s going to shank me slash eat my brains he’s going to do it while making a bold fashion statement. You have to have priorities.

P.S. While you may not notice the immediate parallels between Thor and a zombie please examine the diagram below to see the startling similarities. I’m lucky I got out of there with all of my appendages.

Image Courtesy of "How To Be A Dad"

“Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.”

Standard

I don’t believe in making resolutions as they tend to end in tears more often than not. Rather than focus on “resolving” a supposed deficiency (because I’m perfect, of course!) I prefer to create attainable goals with an achievable action plan. As we ring in 2012 I am challenging myself to maximize my potential! Here are 7 things I plan to do in 2012:

1. Celebrate my accomplishments. Building a freelance business is HARD. I will celebrate my accomplishments small or large and plan to accomplish more.

2. Spend time with myself… and then spend time with others. It’s always important to spend time with yourself and carve out time to rejuvenate your mind and spirit.  However, there is such a thing as living too much in your head and I can be guilty of that at times.  I won’t be afraid to enjoy a solo dinner or a lengthy conversation with a dear friend.

3. Think outside the box. I don’t think anyone would accuse me of being a traditionalist but my goal this year is to help others think outside the box and consider new ideas that will help them in business or in life.

4. Kick procrastination to the curb. There are always things in life that get pushed to the back of our “To Do” lists because they are boring or just plain unpleasant.  Rather than waste time procrastinating I plan to hold myself accountable to all of my “To Do” items.

5. Focus on the journey. As in MY journey. Not my best friend’s journey. Not that random chick at the coffee shop’s journey. Who cares if someone else is younger, more accomplished, wealthier, prettier, etc, etc? Everyone has their own unique journey and successes in life. Rather than trying to live up other’s success I plan to live up to my own success.

6. Make health and happiness a priority. No one else is going to take care of my body and my mind. I will get off the couch and work out as well as focus on healthy eating for a fit lifestyle.

7. Let go of negative relationships. Just because you’ve known someone for 10 years doesn’t mean that you have a healthy relationship. I will focus on building healthy, happy relationships and releasing negative friendships.

What are your goals for the New Year?  How do you plan to maximize your potential this year?

“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.”

Standard

Once you enter your 30s it is inevitable that friends will start to settle down. When a slew of wedding invitations and birth announcements found their way into my mailbox I accepted the change with as much grace as I could muster. I figured that while these poor schmucks were yoyo dieting to fit into wedding dresses and becoming sleepless zombies thanks to their newborns, I could continue to bask in the freedom of single life without a husband or child to weigh me down. But then I moved back to the States and witnessed first hand the impact of nesting on once single friends. These friends, once beholden to no one but themselves, were putting spouse and child’s needs ahead of their own… and it scared the crap out of me.

The reality hit me hardest when a good friend announced she was pregnant last summer.  I was on my way to becoming the last single girl. What did I have in common with these women anymore? I would rather scratch my eyes out than talk about breast feeding and sleep schedules. But as I watched this friend contend with pregnancy with her usual sarcasm and horror I realized that a child could never break the bond of crazy, we would always have irrational fears, awe inspiring stories, or just plain bizarre life moments.

With that said I’m happy to announce that said friend delivered her baby (aka Thor) at 5:46 this morning. If I was a better friend I’d know how much it weighed and stuff but I’m just happy knowing that he is a healthy baby boy.  With the birth of Thor I’ve decided it’s  no longer appropriate to continue referring to his dad as”Studmuffin”. I gave him a  variety of mildly inappropriate new nicknames to choose from but rather than allow him to weigh in on the matter I’ve decided that my favorite is an amalgamation of his former nickname and his new role as proud pop. So “Studmuffin” I hereby rename you “MuffinPop”. Congratulations!

Where Were You When… The Ball Dropped in 1999?

Standard

Join me for the Where Were You When? Series and share your story about how major world events impacted your life.  

Image Credit: Where Were You? Events That Changed The World 26-episode series graphic
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Because I’m a slacker who doesn’t keep up with her own blog series I am always pleased when other people write my posts for me. It also helps when these events coincide with the exact same thing that I was doing at the time.

In 1999 I was 19 years old and in my second year at a small Texas college.  I remember the hoopla surrounding the millennial new year celebration and the fear that it inspired in the armageddonists.  Will the Y2K bug revert the world’s computers to 1900 and effectively stop commerce, business, and life itself?  Some people stockpiled supplies in fear of the end times as the world prepared to usher in the new millennium. I, on the other hand, was ready to party it up just in case there was no tomorrow.

To read more about avoiding death, zombies, and water turning to blood with the new millennium head on over to So Long And Thanks For All The Fish.  If you’d like to be a part of this series please drop me a comment so I can share your blog here as well.

Who’s Up For A Book Burning? I’ll Bring The S’mores!

Standard

Yesterday wrapped up a week of annual events bringing to light the issues surrounding banned books such as censorship, first amendment rights, and freedom of information.

Image Credit: American Library Association

However, as responsible adults, it’s our job to protect children from danger.  Honestly, I’m not sure which is more dangerous, a run-in with Ernest Hemingway or a good old-fashioned book burning.  On one hand, Ernest Hemingway advocates sex and could give you a nasty paper cut, on the other hand, fire is singe-y and could kill you. It’s a tough call. Fortunately, there are numerous approved reading sources that nix the socialism and sex but still share the wonders of misogyny and homophobia.

You know what else makes book burnings ok? The approval of the government.  If the people in charge say it’s ok then it’s time to pull out the matches and grab some sticks. I’m pretty sure that’s how the Nazis convinced everyone to throw a book on the bonfire.  Well, that, and Hitler promised to bring s’mores to the bonfire.  S’mores make everything more festive.

I checked out the Banned and Challenged Book Lists and realized that I’ve read a fair number of books on the list so I guess I’m doomed.

Some of my favorite books are regularly banned or challenged, including:

  • Maya Angelou’s “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.”
  • Stephen Chbosky’s “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.”
  • J.D. Salinger’s “Catcher in the Rye.”
  • Anne Frank’s “The Diary of a Young Girl.”
  • Margaret Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale.”
  • Augusten Burroughs’ “Running with Scissors.”
  • Lois Lowry’s “The Giver.”
  • Mark Mathabane’s “Kaffir Boy.”
  • Gregory Maguire’s “Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West.”
  • Philip Pullman’s “The Golden Compass.”

As you can tell I’ve clearly turned out poorly and will be accursed for life so it’s advisable to keep your children away from these books altogether.  In fact, the best way to keep them from sneaking around with a copy of “Of Mice and Men” is to forbid them from ever learning to read.  Illiteracy is the answer and abstinence from books is the only solution.

Women’s Rights: 1, Rick Perry: 0

Standard

Women’s rights activists won a battle today in Texas when U.S. District Judge Sam Sparks (notably appointed by George H.W. Bush) declared that Rick Perry’s law fining doctors who did not show sonograms to women seeking abortion is unconstitutional.  The plaintiffs, a group of doctors as well as the Center for Reproductive Rights, brought eight claims against the law that was to go into effect tomorrow.

(1) The Act is unconstitutionally vague
(2) The Act compels physicians to engage in government-mandated speech violating the 1st and 14th Amendments
(3) The Act violates the 1st and 14th Amendments by requiring patients submit to such speech regardless of its medical necessity or want
(4) The Act unconstitutionally discriminates on the basis of sex, thus violating the Equal Protection Clause in the 14th Amendment

are we seeing a pattern yet?

(5) The Act unconstitutionally discriminates between abortion providers and other medical facilities in violation of the Equal Protection Clause
(6) The Act unconstitutionally discriminates between women who live within 100 miles of an abortion provider and those who live 100 miles away or more from an abortion provider, in violation of the Equal Protection Clause
(7) The Act violates women’s 14th Amendment right to bodily integrity by requiring them to medically unnecessary ultrasound procedures
(8) The Act violates the 4th and 14th Amendments by subjecting abortion facilities to random, unannounced, and warrantless searches.

The Act’s onerous requirements will surely dissuade or prevent many competent doctors from performing abortions, making it significantly more difficult for pregnant women to obtain abortions. Forcing pregnant women to receive medical treatment from less-skilled providers certainly seems to be at odds with ‘protecting the physical and psychological health and well-being of pregnant women. – U.S. District Judge Sam Sparks

Image Credit: Chronicle/Kurt Rogers

Thanks to Sparks, individual rights won today rather than the moral majority who would rather focus on religious grounds than the Constitution.  While the state attorney general will certainly appeal and Governor Rick Perry will continue to wage a war against women’s rights, this battle goes to the women.

Read more: Abortion Information 101, Jezebel, Hay Ladies, The Texas Tribune